Yeah, you read it right.
Except we're talking about "taking offense" in the name of "defending" something we are protecting.
Recently, it appears that the topic of offense is coming up in many circles and conversations. My good friend, Charity Majors, and I addressed it on a recent Insta Live as well (click the button below to go watch the convo)
You see, offense is the culprit to separation. It is an option we are given to take when something doesn't align with our current values, feelings, beliefs, convictions, etc. Offense, metaphorically, builds a wall between us and that which has challenged the things we hold dear.
The problem with offense is that it is chosen in response to our own values, feelings, beliefs, etc and not actually caused by another person. Offense is a choice.
What?! Explain, Lyns.
Listen, there are plenty of things in the world right now that I don't agree or align with. However, just because I don't agree or align with something doesn't mean I have to take offense. When someone's opinion or even their actions towards me don't align with my true character or who I am---doesn't mean I have to take offense.
You understanding? Offense is not a feeling it is a choice to separate and form barriers from something or someone. Offense creates a fence metaphorically.
The problem with this is that when barriers and boundaries are created in reaction to our inner world, relationship and connection is sacrificed in order to protect something within ourselves. This choice often leads to communication breakdown because the individual goes into "defend" mode and can no longer listen or communicate because of the "victim mentality" that ensues.
Here's a real-life example: Baptism.
There are many different theologies and traditions within the Christian church that practice and recognize baptism differently. Heck, there is a total spectrum of understanding and belief in my own family about this subject! Many times, in my family and in other circles, I have listened and watched people take offense while discussing the various differences. What happens? There is ZERO communication and a war-like atmosphere comes into play with everyone defending their personal beliefs instead of listening to one another. Even more maddening, if you happen to be the one person that is not choosing offense and you still get caught in the identity crossfire of any such conversations. #iykyk
If you look at the past few years, there isn't a shortage of examples of topics that many of us have dug our roots deep into without realizing our values and beliefs and convictions started to take hold of our identity. The real consequence of so much offense is the inability to learn and grow with one another due to the complete lack of ability to debate and communicate without the need to agree. I find it fascinating that as you study this, it is quite obvious it is an attempt of the enemy to divide and set against. What easier way to divide us than to persuade each of us to defend the things we have high value for and then pit us against one another with the idea that what one group doesn't value the same as the other makes it impossible for them to coexist? That the very nature of difference in opinion makes it impossible to love one another well? You must agree to all things in order to value and love, NOT! Yet, this notion is EVERYWHERE in our current culture.
This isn't even taking into the account the assumed understanding or knowledge of individual people that we have little to zero relational connection with outside of social media or google, for that matter. ANY of those scenarios can be offensive- I mean can you believe that Brittany wrote that memoir? And, I digress. Yet, how many people display discord and opinion BECAUSE they take offense to people they don't even know!?
So, what is the point?
The point is TAKING offense is a YOU problem.
Is that offensive? good. Let's talk about the difference between the two...
Offensive vs Taking Offense
Ready to have your mind blown? Mr. Webster says:
Offensive: adjective
a.making attack (AGGRESSIVE) b. of, relating to, or designed for attack c. of or relating to an attempt to score in a game or contest
giving painful or unpleasant sensations
causing displeasure or resentment
Offense: noun
something that outrages the moral or physical senses
a. the act of displeasing or affronting b. the state of being insulted or morally outraged
a. the offensive team or members of a team b. the means or method of attacking or of attempting to score c. scoring ability d. the act of attacking
a. an infraction of the law b. a breach of a moral or social code
a. a cause or occasion of sin (STUMBLING BLOCK- an obstacle to progress) b. an act of stumbling
WOAH.
I love looking at words to get revelation and understanding for the way things work in the world- these words don't disappoint and are incredibly enlightening for those of us willing to learn and grow. I'm going to attempt to pull some wisdom out of these definitions within the context of recognizing spiritual warfare while giving you a solid reason WHY offense IS a tool of the enemy and WHY we should not take it.
An adjective describes a noun, bear with me. Therefore, if you look at the world in groups (in science we call these systems)- I would suggest that the systems are used to deliver the opportunity for us to take offense. Such systems would be people, beliefs, theology, art, etc. The offensive nature is then experienced through one of these mediums. Maybe offense is a spirit? hmm.....I mean it is embodied in something else so that we have the opportunity to choose it or not, just saying....
Back to the offensive nature being delivered through a medium. Notice that the definition of offensive is Aggressive, designed for attack, relating to an attempt to score in a game or contest... Offensive things feel this way, right? We can feel the aggression behind them. Interestingly enough, they are designed for attack....are you reading this? They are designed to elicit an aggressive response BECAUSE they are designed for attack- an attack, I would propose, that is an attempt of the enemy to "score" in the current battle in the unseen. Pretty radical, huh? Makes you feel like a puppet when you start looking at it this way...
So the spirit of offense is delivered through an offensive system that appeals to your values and beliefs in an aggressive way that would naturally cause you to separate and defend. Well, that seems ok, right? That makes complete sense on paper and, yet, as believers we are not to react naturally, but respond supernaturally as Jesus would in these situations.
What does scripture say?
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:13
Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.
Proverbs 10:12
Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.
Psalms 119:165
Jesus said to his disciples: "Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come.:
Luke 17:1
Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
Proverbs 17:9
A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense.
Provers 19:11
There are soooo many. But let me finish this section with this:
If someone is guilty of a capital offense is put to death and their body is exposed on a pole
Deuteronomy 21:22
Who was exposed and hung on a cross for all sin and separation? For every aggressive attack of the enemy then, now and forever? Who became offense in place of all offense to God, Himself, that I may be righteous through Him and restored to Him? Who forgave me?
Everything the enemy does is counterfeit to what God provides. He isn't creative. He's manipulative. Offense, then, delivered by him and activated by appealing to our places of identity that are not founded in Jesus actually counterfeit the freedom and fullness of identity in Jesus that come from the offense of the cross.
I may be getting deep here for some of you, but it's amazing. Offense that we take in response to offensive systems places our identity in false foundations (beliefs, values, people, etc), but when we know whose we are and who we are in Christ- we can choose not to respond and not to pair with offense because of the TRUE offense of the cross- which makes powerless all the attempts of the enemy to appeal to our natural man, who is dead in Christ. That IS powerful.
So, what do we do? How do we learn?
Well, God is kind and patient and we have been taught that it is a process to go from "glory to glory" as we become more and more like Jesus. I would suggest then it starts with recognizing offensive strategies that come against you. Recognizing those aggressive feelings that come with the content and then....pausing in the midst. Training ourselves not to defend and react and build walls, but to trust God in the circumstances and align ourselves with Jesus rather than taking the bait.
This practically looks like assessing for yourself what your triggers are. This isn't a shame and blame game, it is a practice that will reveal to you where you have placed identity incorrectly and provide and invitation for God to come in and restore and build you up in Him.
Get ready, because growth in this area looks like having the hard conversations, standing for connection when others may defend and separate, but I'm telling you...if we begin to work towards being a people that don't take offense, learn to listen and listen to learn- we will see great things happen.
Thanks be to God.
Galatians 4:9 But now that you know God- or rather are known by God- how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?
Lyns
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